I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
