and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
