i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
