Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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