I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
