Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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