can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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