So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He kissed a someone with a penis
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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