i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
