Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
