Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
