man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
