we're chasing vodka with high fives
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
PANTIES FOUND
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