I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
