His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
