New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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