sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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