you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
