Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
