last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
