why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
