I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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