Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
