If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
