We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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