So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
