I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
