Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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