you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
