and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize