Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
