You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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