If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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