Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I look better un-naked...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
