Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
