a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
