U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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