yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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