Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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