i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
