Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
