We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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