I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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