Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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