Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
