Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
