Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
