Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
