whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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