I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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