I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
