i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
