dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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