Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
please come you make the beer taste better
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize