As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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