wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
