pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
