Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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