I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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