No stitches, just platelets and will power
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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