After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize